Depressed

I wish I knew exactly why I'm feeling so down.  I know it's related to my brother's almost-fatal heart attack but I can't put my finger on exactly why I feel so down and on why my eating hasn't been on track.  Logically this should reinforce the healthy eating, but instead I find I now want to eat and eat and eat.

My dad has been on my mind a lot these last few days, since he also had his first heart attack at 47 and died of heart failure at 53.  Going through this with Mike now brings back plenty of memories of my dad's struggle and the choices he made that helped lead to his death.  Part of me worries about what this family legacy means for my own heart health but the other part of me likes my aunt's theory that this is a male issue in our family, not a female.  I don't buy that, though... the reason it's not a female issue is because there aren't biological females in this line of the family, so I don't put much weight in that theory.

I guess I'm sad that my brother's life is going to be so altered because of this.  He's going home from the hospital wearing a LifeVest (a difibrillator built into the vest) for three months and then they'll see what the permanent solution will be.  I just hope he makes the changes to his diet that are necessary.  Clearly genetics is stacked against him; the only thing he can control is his diet (he doesn't drink or smoke) and his stress level.  Time will tell.