The depression motivation

I've struggled with depression since childhood. Not the low-grade, ride-it-out kind of depression that many people deal with; it's the deep chronic kind that doesn't respond well to medication. This means that instead of one or two medications, I take four anti-depressants - a cocktail that is currently working to keep me minimally engaged in my life.

I even recently took the drastic step of having TMS treatments for the depression. TMS is an FDA-approved treatment that involves sitting in a chair for about an hour while a series of magnetic pulses zap a particular area of the brain. You do that five days a week for six weeks.  It is a huge commitment of time and a VERY significant amount of money and it is not covered by insurance. But I was willing to do it if there was a chance it would help my depression. I'm glad I did it because there has been a positive change, though it wasn't the dramatic impact I was longing for.

So many studies have linked poor diets to depression and it dawned on me as I was forking over all that money for TMS, that maybe I should try changing my diet as well. This was a daunting thought - less daunting than the TMS commitment - because I've tried countless times to lose weight to no avail and then I just end up feeling more depressed because I failed. But I just had the nagging feeling that if I was desperate enough to spend that money and invest that time, maybe I was desperate enough to give changing my eating one more try. It wasn't enough of a sentiment to cause change on it's own, but it's rattled a round in my brain and combined with the other motivations to lead me to where I am today.

Its been five days since I cut out a bunch of junk from my diet, and the change in my depression is noticeable. No, I'm not ready to run to my shrink and start cutting medications, but I am inspired to keep up with the changes!