Friday, June 17, 2011

The spectator motivation

As I've gained weight I've retreated further into myself and pulled away from the world around me. I avoid social situations because I'm embarrassed about my size and appearance. I avoid physical situations because being physically active is harder on my feet and knees than it used to be. It would be one thing if I was single and childless, but I have a great husband and two very active little boys who have to deal with my issues.

Basically I've become a spectator of life instead of an active participant. While this is manageable at this moment, it's not fair for Dave to be the only one taking the boys out and about to experience the world. The boys start kindergarten in the fall and they deserve a mom who isn't too embarrassed to volunteer at school or chaperone a field trip now and then.

The solution is two-fold I think. Yes, I need to change the way I've been treating my body so I can be more comfortable. But I also need to get out of my head so much. I spend so much time obsessing about my body and size, but I need to realize that other people probably don't give my body a second thought. And frankly, the people who matter don't care what I look like. It's going to be interesting to see which thing I have more trouble with - changing my body or changing my head.

On a practical note, I've got to give some more thought to snack foods.  Now that I'm giving up my four bad habits, well, I'm hungry.  This plan of getting more healthy is going to go off the rails pretty quickly if I don't proactively address the question of okay so now what am I going to eat instead?

3 comments:

  1. This is my big question. Okay, now what do I eat? The junk food habits that you've given up are all packaged convenience foods - so I'm thinking that the replacement foods must also be convenient.

    I've been preparing my snacks on the weekend so that I can grab and go during the weekdays when I'm on the run with kids. Cut fruit, Lara Bars, nuts, cut veggies with dips like guacamole and hummus are all at the ready when I want a snack.

    But you're right, the "what do I eat now" questions is not always an easy one.

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  2. That's a great point about me needing convenience since that's what I'm giving up with the junk. I think I'll take your tip about preparing food on the weekend for the week ahead. I can tell that when I'm not prepared I'm going to run into trouble.

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  3. If you made a commitment to drink absolutely nothing but water for two weeks (not forever! Just two weeks!) you might gain such a taste for it that you rarely drink anything else. I used to NEVER drink water, I drank Crystal Light or soda or milk or juice but NEVER water. Then one year, I gave up all beverages but water for Lent, and after Easter, I had developed a taste for it! Now I have one cup of coffee (no sweetener, just a splash of milk) in the morning and then water the rest of the day. Maybe once or twice a week I might have one beverage that isn't water... but not often.

    So maybe replacing every time you think you may be hungry or thirsty with 8 oz of water... THEN if you're still hungry, try something easy like a string cheese or a couple of hard-boiled eggs... Sometimes it isn't hunger, it's thirst, and we think it's hunger. So trying the water before you eat anything keeps you from having calories you didn't actually even need.

    And sometimes I think, am I hungry enough to eat a plain old hard-boiled egg? (Because I don't hate them but I certainly don't crave them! LOL) If I'm like, I'm hungry but not for that... then actually I'm not hungry, because hunger wants to be not hungry. CRAVINGS want some kind of big payoff in flavor or comfort or entertainment or something, not hunger. The people on Survivor who have no food are fighting over two spoonfulls of plain rice, you know? So eating only when hungry, and drinking water when NOT actually "hungry" and focusing on food as fuel and not entertainment, comfort, pleasure, etc. is my main focus...

    Good luck!

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